7/5

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
from Genesis 1:1 ~ 2

Above are from the bible but i am not a christian and i am not a catholic too, actually i am a free thinker, there is no religion in my mind yet.
I was believing there is a God since i was young, i always imagined that the God keep looking at me, keep looking on what am i doing so i always performed as a good child a good student, but after that accident in my primary 3, i still believe there is a God but that feeling are not so stable anymore. I had changed, i was changed like a tamed horse one day, the rope tied it everyday was untied. I start to do the things which i not dare to do last time till now, i am trying to think what am i doing now are all correct? If the accident never happen before, will i still the good child or good student? maybe...
When i was young, i always followed my mum went to the catholic church and i followed my dad went to the temple now, i always slept at home.
I can't know the reason why i can't believe the God 100% in my mind, when i was in secondary 4, John will ask me to pray before the competition and sometimes he also will tell me some stories or some words actually God wants us the human kind to understand and i did follow him to Paulus's house every wednesday after lessons. Jit Pang also were there try to explain the quotes from the bible and teach us what God wants us to know to learn.
Now i start to read bible again, because of i wants to improve my english, i think this is one of the good way?and because of i am trying to find out the answers of some questions which was deep in my heart from the bible. Hope that the mighty God will guide me to the right path although i am not a follower of him.


Wondering recently, how come my mood has changed to become so bad temper? how come i will have a very very strong desire wants to spend money? Today is still within the first week of the month and i had overspent my money already ==, haiz
oMG, like this is bu dui de, cannot continue like this anymore, have to start to have bread or biscuit in 1 of my meals already ><
At the same time, have to try to control my temper now
If this is going to continue, duno will have how many ppl will be scolded by me without reason ><
It is because of i am too stress? or i think is just because i still cannot let it go...